Maybe I should just go to the Roomstore like everyone else.

I've had some notable successes with Craigslist in the last year--Charlie's Pottery Barn Kids' quilt with two shams, Charlie's bed, a crib mattress, bumper, quilt, and sheet set, two wooden night stands and a dresser, Ryan's lawnmower--but now that we are looking for a new couch I think I may have met my match. I like our current couch, which I bought at my own yardsale from a friend for $30 (Her husband agreed to the transaction because "You mean I won't have to haul this thing to Goodwill and I can go home and finish watching the Fiesta Bowl?"), but it is only a loveseat and we need something big enough to stretch out on while we are consoling Wesley at all hours of the night. So after a quick perusal of Ikea's offerings and finding nothing appealing in our $400 price range I turned to my old friend the Craigslist.

A quick search of the word "couch" with the "image" box checked turned up hundreds of ads. With the economy as it is, I was sure I could cash in on some overleveraged sucker help someone unload their gently used sofa for well within our budget.

I have only found one contender, but I have learned A LOT from the ads. To summarize:

AWESOME COUCH!!! $20. Need to sell by Friday. -- to raise beer money because I am a frat boy and this couch that I got when my parents redecorated their lake house smells of cigarettes and urine

Nice retro sofa. $75. -- "Uh, hi, this is Jim? You bought my couch? Yeah, could you look in the cushions real quick because I lost like a whole pound of hash and my roommate's gonna kill me." (this one was pictured, predictably, in a wood panelled room with an India print tapestry hanging behind it)

Beautiful black leather sofa. $575. -- "Yeah, hi, this is Leon Phelps--the Ladies' Man. I have definitely never had anonymous sex on this couch." wink wink

Super comfy sectional with built in recliners and cooler hidden in armrest, $250. -- My wife hates it and your's will too!

Brand new Pottery Barn leather sofa! Only $900! Ca$h only! -- You will be beaten and robbed if you show up with $900 in cash.

Free couch. Small stain on cushion. Cat friendly home. -- Eew eewwww ewwwwwww. Ewwww.

Blue and pink couch in good condition. $50. -- Helloooo 1989! Should we do each other's hair or play Nintendo?

Brand new living room set, $300. Comes with accessories [pictured: throw pillows, candlesticks, framed art]. Call before 5:00. -- Teach that bitch to cheat on me!

As much as I hate to admit it, I think it may be time to go retail.